Nothing is worse for office morale than an office birthday party. Rounding you up from the work you're supposed to do, chipper people instruct us to gather around the breakroom for a special occasion, namely Bill's, Sally's, Caitlyn's birthday cake unveiling.
Ugh. Unlike sundaes, coffee, and beer, birthday cake's mix of lard-based frosting and pure sugar puts you to sleep, or rather a coma, about fifteen minutes after ingesting two pieces of sugared birthday goodness.
But no more, corporate America. No more torture. No - it's not a ruling handed down by OSHA - it's the new insurance regulations. If you eat the birthday cake - your insurance premiums are going up.
That's right. Unhealthy people, including those who smoke, are obese, or have high cholesterol, are no longer going to get a free ride on the backs of the Tofu-eaters.
While many employers have been using financial incentives to encourage participation in wellness programs, one company will begin charging employees more for their health insurance in 2009 if they allow health risks such as tobacco use, obesity or high cholesterol to go unchecked.
It's all part of the new rules - and you have to figure that if companies on private insurance are starting to pull these stunts, government is next. Free healthcare, as long as you don't eat Twinkies. Sounds like a campaign slogan for someone.
The company, Clarian Health in Indiana, is instituting a $5 per paycheck fine for people who fail to meet certain health standards.
The program will assess $5 per-paycheck fees on employees who do not meet minimum standards for body mass index, cholesterol, blood glucose, blood pressure and nonuse of tobacco. Although it will not be fully implemented until 2009, the effort was announced this year to give employees plenty of warning, Wantz says.
Personally, I'd laugh at them, and stuff my face with oreos and pork fat. But then again, I've always been a little bit of a rebel.
Find San Francisco jobs at SanFranJobs.com.